I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
