ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
