my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize