Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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