he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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