Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
