Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
