I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
