It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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