in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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