Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
