I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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