omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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