Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
someone owes me an orgasm
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
