I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
