I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
