ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize