Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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