I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize