you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
