i think my mom watched the whole time
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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