There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Houston, we have a blender
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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