Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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