I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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