I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
