What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I didn't notice because vodka
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
