Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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