You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
