don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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