Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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