I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Randomize
