I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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