I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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