6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
oh god the rape fog is back!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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