Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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