the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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