I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
