Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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(850): View more from Florida

I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(

Fav 51 1074 3672
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(785): View more from Kansas

Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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(540): View more from Virginia

is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?

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(409): View more from Texas

We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.

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