Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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