she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
