I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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