Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We are all done wearing pants today
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
