FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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