I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
