Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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