My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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