I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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