no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
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We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.