rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Barsexuality is the new black.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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