it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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