Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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