I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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