Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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