I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
