A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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