you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
