We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
