what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
