from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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