Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
