So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
