No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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