Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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