You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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