I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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