so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
