is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
