i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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